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TeamUp brings abuse prevention expert to town
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Article from the Marblehead
Reporter, February 16, 2006.
By Kaitlin Melanson. Reprinted with permission. |
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As the generation
gap between parent and child continues to stretch beyond
recognition, many parents begin to view their own children
as strangers and are unsure how to open up the lines of
communication with out sounding like the enemy.
Tuesday, Feb. 28, TeamUp Inc. of Marblehead will present
"Understanding the Teenage Brain: A Discussion on
Drug and Alcohol Use, Risky Behaviors and Prevention Strategies,"
a program featuring consultant, teacher, coach and former
director of the Training Institute of Narcotic and Drug
Research Inc. Michael Nerney. The program will run from
7-9 p.m. in the Performing Arts Center of the Marblehead
Veterans Middle School.
During the presentation, which is geared for an adult
audience, Nerney will provide extensive, concrete evidence
of the effects of alcohol and drug use on an adolescent
brain, as well proactive steps towards building a strong
line of communication between parent and teen. Nerney
is also speaking in Swampscott the following day.
In both March and May, Nerney will come back to speak
directly to several adolescent groups,50 students at a
time in both Marblehead and Swampcott middle and high
schools, along with hosting a pre-prom seminar at the
high school level. Nerney will also hold special professional
development programs with teachers and faculty over the
next few months.
In Massachusetts, 28 percent of children 13 and under
have had a drink, and 12 percent have used marijuana.
With the percentages constantly rising, Joyce Alla, marketing
chairwoman of TeamUp, which is sponsoring Nerney's appearance
in Marblehead, says more needs to be done.
"The 'just say no' slogan doesn't work anymore,"
Alla said. "As parents we really need to work on
opening the lines of communication."
TeamUp President Susan Hauck added. "We need to increase
awareness of the effects of drugs and alcohol as well
as promote the tactic of early education."
Swampscott guidance counselor Reardon said seeing Nerney
last year in Marblehead was the motivation for bringing
him to Swampscott, thanks to a grant from the local educational
support organization, SUCCESS.
For many parents, the thought of talking to their elementary
and middle school aged children doesn't seem necessary,
but TeamUp advocates feel the sooner the better.
"It's better to be talking to your children all along
than when it's too late," said Elizabeth Moore, principal
of Marblehead Veterans Middle School. "Parents should
just cater their talks to the different age levels their
children are at."
Moore, who has attended presentations by Nerney in the
past, thinks children relate to the research Nerney brings
to the table, and that they like to have evidence that
they can hold in the palm of their hands.
"Children like to see concrete evidence showing them
what definitively what can happen to them if they do something,"
Moore said. "Last year [Nerney] showed parents and
teachers research he had done on the brain, showing that
as they enter adolescence their forebrain is not as developed
and they become impulsive."
In terms of when to talk with your children, Steve McFadden,
guidance counselor at the Village School, also in Marblehead,
has also adopted a sooner rather than later view on the
situation.
"Though a lot of parents may think how does this
relate to my young child, they have to realize that these
issues come up quicker than you think and it is always
best to be prepared," McFadden said.
Local counselor Larry Robinson says the main thing most
parents need to learn is how not to talk down to their
children as if they know everything, yet instead create
an equal playing field where the kids feel that they can
talk to their parents rather than fight with them. Part
of his own method in his Lynn office is making his clients
feel comfortable from the moment they step over the threshold,
whether it be from the soothing smell of incense of the
Native American pictures and artifacts placed around the
waiting room.
"Children need to gain your trust, otherwise if you
criticize them from A to Z they are not going to listen
to anything you have to say," Robinson said. "Kids
at this age are angry because they have to be. Their parents
are no longer their friends and they are now responsible
for making adult decisions."
Robinson says a lot of the problem is that middle schoolers
see what their older siblings are doing and figuring that
this what is "cool," creating a tremendous amount
of pressure to be just that.
"We need to work toward changing what defines 'cool',"
Robinson said. "If we accepted kids more for who
they are then they would be better at deciding what 'cool'
actually is."
Currently one of the more effective programs in place
is the athletic department's social contract which was
brought in by director Michael Plansky. Since putting
the contracts in place, Plansky says they have only had
to in force the policy once this year.
"We bring the responsibility to the kids by making
them form their own social contracts saying here's what
they want to do and if we want our team to succeed we
all need to follow by these rules," Plansky says.
"The students are in charge of assigning penalties
unanimously so that everyone is on the same page and they
can look out for each other."
Plansky added, "The goal is to have the students
looking out for each other and learning together how to
be responsible. Our hope is that if they are out and see
someone breaking the rules they will say 'hey, that's
in our contract and you shouldn't be doing that'."
Swampscott High School has a similar student teaching
student method known as SADD, an organization of Students
Against Destructive Decisions.
"We are an active chapter and two of our high school
students are on the board," Reardon said. "We
do presentations every year that are funded through a
SUCCESS, Inc. grant and this year we are going to mirror
what Marblehead did last year by having 50 students at
a time work with Nerney."
"Many parents are trying so hard to be there child's
best friend, but as parents that is not what we signed
up for," said Marblehead Police Detective Sgt. Marion
Keating. "Parents should create an information exchange
where they have all the cell phone numbers and email addresses
so that at any point in time they are able to get in touch
with their child."
Keating added, "Parents are now having to talk to
their children about subjects they never thought they
would have to before. For example, what should your child
do if they are babysitting and the parents come home drunk
and are going to drive them home? These are things that
we don't think of but need to because they happen."
Judy Luise, adjustment counselor at Marblehead High School,
suggests teaching children how to act in advance, trying
to advert problems rather than deal with the consequences.
"We try and teach them in a non-judgmental environment
how to react rather then reflect after the fact,"
Luise said.
According to Jim Ryan, director of Northeast Center for
Healthy Communities, several surrounding communities have
taken the initiative to effectively attack the problem.
"Hamilton-Wenham is currently collecting data to
develop strategies, and Lynn has a whole study done up
on risk factors along with protective factors and building
strong neighborhoods," Ryan said. "Many communities
are forming coalitions trying to get parents engaged in
the issue and building communication so they can be mentors
in the situation."
"No parent can fully protect their child," said
Moore. "What they can do is continue the conversation.
It can be as simple as asking you kids how they feel after
you both witness a character in a television show doing
something wrong. As parents we should always be talking."
JUST THE FACTS
What: TeamUp lecture on drug and alcohol awareness and
prevention, featuring former Director of the Training
Institute of Narcotic and Drug Research, Michael Nerney,
now working with Partners in Prevention. Not recommended
for student attendance.
When: Tuesday, Feb. 28, 7-8:30 p.m.
Where: Marblehead Veterans Middle School Performing Arts
Center
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